An inside look at life beyond chronic pain...

This blog started out as a way to document my journey with chronic pain and how I integrated mindfulness with that. I am broadening the scope to include other areas of my life as well. Blogging is one way that I can 'get out of my head and into my life.' Topics may inclue: dealing with chronic pain, recovery, graduate school, therapy, healing and hope, because really, it is all the same journey. Follow me, as I attempt to live a more mindful life.



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  1. "I like being better.
    It feels soft.
    The edges are curved
    and I glide,
    I do not run.
    It’s like the world is less harsh.
    I no longer feel
    like a serrated knife.
    Walking around aimlessly.
    Everyday afraid, of
    the next person
    I will obliterate.

    I no longer fear
    the words people say.
    They do not matter.
    Because I know I am better.
    Not the very best,
    but better than how I was.

    A yes or a no, no longer
    sends my head spinning
    Because I’ve grown
    quite fond of maybe.
    It’s soft.
    Just as I am soft,
    And it feels right.
    In the same way
    a nice bowl of oatmeal
    feels warm in the morning.

    Embracing the sunlight,
    too feels warm.
    My glassy eyes were
    transformed with tears.
    I thought I would never stop.
    They said crying is healing,
    I spat at their lies.
    Disgusted by
    my vulnerability.

    I used to be a piece of glass.
    People watched me
    from a distance.
    Always afraid to get too close
    because I would shatter.
    But I realize my tears
    have washed away
    much more than
    just mascara.
    I learned to feel.

    The phrase
    ‘It’s a healing process’
    used to sound
    like a death sentence.
    But now I see that
    it’s just them
    saying to be patient.
    The virtue I am learning.
    I was told to take refuge
    in thought that life
    is gradual.
    I didn’t think it
    would ever come.
    But it did.

    When each day
    is not as hard
    as the last, I know
    that I am no longer
    a serrated knife.
    I am becoming soft.

    Healing is a journey.

    — A.M. At Peace With My Softness (via adrianaintheraw)
  2. "Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze."
    — Elinor Glyn (via feellng)


  4. Computer decided to update and reboot IN MIDDLE of my PiYo workout!!! Ahhhh!

  5. "I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
    — Agatha Christie, An Autobiography (via feellng)
  6. "Tread softly
    Breathe peacefully
    Laugh hysterically"
    —  Nelson Mandela (via feellng)
  7. These words mean so much to me right now.

    These words mean so much to me right now.

  9. "The rape joke is that you were eight.
    The rape joke is that at the time,
    you didn’t know people had sex to express love.
    The rape joke is that the only other person
    who’d seen you naked was your mom.
    The rape joke is that he called you ‘beautiful’ first.
    The rape joke is that he held your hands together
    and told you to ‘try harder’ when you struggled.
    The rape joke is that you believed him
    when he told you were overreacting.
    The rape joke is that your grandma
    called him a nice boy and asked him to stay for dinner.
    The rape joke is that he winked at you
    when you apologized to your parents for not coming
    downstairs the first time you were called.
    The rape joke is that his friends
    high-fived him for “getting some.”
    The rape joke is that you still don’t feel like
    you’ve regrown the pieces he stole.
    The rape joke is that he was conceived when his
    dad slapped himself into his snoring mother.
    The rape joke is that her friends told her
    she was lucky someone wanted her.
    The rape joke is that each year in the United States,
    32,000 other women’s bellies
    ripen with life against their will.
    The rape joke is that he never learned
    to touch without scarring.
    The rape joke is that your classmate thinks
    ‘have you seen what asses look like in yoga pants?’
    is an argument.
    The rape joke is your new boyfriend kissing
    you and telling you he ‘raped’ his math test.
    The rape joke is that ‘Why are girls so scared of rape? Y’all should feel pride that a guy risked his life in jail just to fuck you’
    is a popular Tweet right now.
    The rape joke is that you wake up to
    the memory of him laughing,
    “now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
    The rape joke is that it’s been twelve years and
    you still quiver when someone touches you.
    The rape joke is that he hasn’t stopped laughing.
    The rape joke is that you forgot how to."
    — The Rape Joke | Lora Mathis
    Inspired by this. (via lora-mathis)


  10. 4 weeks of PiYo complete!!! I feel so amazing and strong. I am so proud of my body and what it is capable of. My posture is so much better, my pain is less and I feel so confident. I love honoring my body with exercise and that I can do this in recovery and in a healthy way!